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breathing space coventry

Second Pause : My Soul Waits

At a window over a garden, 

before a candle on a table,

            with a glass of wine,

                        or in a silent corner,

                                    it is time to pause – my soul waits ……

I close my eyes, notice my breathing, relax my shoulders, and become still for some minutes:

come, Spirit, come.

~ to ponder ~

With Advent receding with its message of light in the darkness, I have been struck by the candles of hope, love, joy, peace. 

These beautiful qualities of a life well-lived, to what extent did they feature in my year that is ending? 

Was hope a constant theme? Did an inner peace prevail?  Was there love in abundance?  How deep was the joy?

Take some minutes to reflect on your year as it closes. 

Which of these four – hope, love, joy, peace – was a feature of your year?

Which one was most lacking?

Notice what has first come to the surface ….. stay with that.

Review the outer and inner journey of the year and consider why one might have been scarce and another abundant. What does this tell you about the year? 

Talk to God as honestly as you can.

Name some of your ‘epiphanies’ of the past year – your discoveries of the Holy One in your midst?

How did you grow because of them?

How did your experience of the past year affect the world in which you live?

So, … what name might you give to your experience of this year?

 What image or metaphor would you use to talk about it?

~  a poem ~

To a semi-circle: seeking wisdom

Alone among the shapes I meet,

you rest, content and incomplete;

no rounded symmetry I see,

nor perfect immortality.

Your half-formed body, foetal soul

seems broken, wounded, far from whole.

Your pair of angles doesn’t quite

square the circle, set things right.

Yet, should I look beyond such flaws,

open up my blinkered doors,

perhaps I’d see through different eyes:

your gentle promise, silver-bright

shining half-moon in the night.

                        (Peter Sidebotham)

~  a psalm ~

Another part of the quirky Psalm 18 (MSG) helps us review the year:

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start.
Now I’m alert to God’s ways; I don’t take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

Hmm, did I at any point this past year really place all the pieces before God?

                        When was it God gave me a fresh start? (did I miss that?)

                                                How might I review the ways God works every day? 

If only I could feel put back together…..

~ a prayer ~

The examen is an approach to daily prayer that can ensure I don’t take God for granted; it might even help me not miss a trick; it certainly opens the book of my heart to God’s eyes …

Place your hand on your heart and ask Jesus or God or the Holy Spirit to bring to your heart the moment today for which you are most grateful.

Ask the Holy One to bring to your heart the moment today for which you are least grateful.

Let your feelings surface. You may wish to take some deep breaths and let God’s love fill you just the way you are.

Give thanks for whatever you have experienced. (You may like to journal your learnings or share them with a family member or friend.)

~ appendix ~

If you want to delve deeper, you could complete these simple sentences, adapted from Anthony de Mello: Praying Body and Soul… and make some of your own:

these are the people who have been dear to me….

these are the ideas and experiences that have brought me energy …

these are the concepts and experiences that have tripped me up …

these are the dangers I have flirted with …

these are the sufferings that have matured me …

these are the regrets I have ….

these are the gifts I have received …

***

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